Being Different

As I was growing up, I was aware that I was a little different than everyone else. I liked to wear t-shirts and wind pants. I had wavy hair that was frizzy. I made very little effort into making it behave each morning. I didn’t enjoy the same things. I would rather spend my free time reading or writing. I would also put more effort into my homework than anyone else in my class. I made attempts to be ‘normal’ but would eventually suspend these efforts. I wasn’t happy and I didn’t feel comfortable either. It took awhile, but in time, I eventually became comfortable with who I am and no longer cared what people thought about me. There have been several times though when people have tried to turn me into something that I am not. And each time, it has really bothered me.

            In middle school, one girl told me that it would be fun to give me a makeover. She said she and her friends would really enjoy that. And then, to make the situation even more humiliating, she started asking other girls if they thought I would look good with a makeover. It really hurt because I wasn’t friends with this girl. I knew that a makeover with her would be just that; a complete makeover. It wouldn’t be a fun social experience.

            The next time it happened, I was in high school and an extra in the musical. I showed up at the classroom that was being used as a dressing room and was ambushed by a girl that I was sort of friends with who wanted to fix my hair. She made my hair really straight. I really liked it but I knew that it wasn’t me. The next morning, I washed my hair and performed in the musical the next night looking like my usual self.

            In the next musical, another one of my friends straightened my hair. It wasn’t as straight as the first musical and she also used this product that smelled like pears. I couldn’t get away from the smell so the next morning, I attacked my hair with a brush and returned my appearance to normal.

            That same friend gave me several hurtful comments during high school. She constantly called me a nerd and then had the nerve to tell me one time that a guy I couldn’t stand would like me if I wore different clothes, got contacts, and worked on my hair. My response to that was that he could spend the money to make that all happen. I was very hurt by that comment; especially since my friend knew I didn’t like this guy.

            In college, one of my friends one time was just going to straighten my hair since I was doing some classroom observation the next morning but instead also put make up on me. Then, she wanted me to walk around the dorm and show off her work. It was embarrassing and also not me. I do not wear make up because I believe that it is what is on the inside that counts.

            I have found the comments and makeover attempts all very hurtful. It is like people don’t even care about what I am like on the inside. All they care about is what they see. I am happy with who I am. I know I am not beautiful according to society but I know I am beautiful to God because He created me in His image. I don’t need to spend a lot of unnecessary money to meet the world’s beauty standards. I am beautiful just the way I am.

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