Fourteen months after graduating college, I have been offered a teaching job for the next school year. With the offer has come a lot of powerful emotions and feelings. With the offer has also come some mixed feelings.
I do not know how many times over the last fourteen months I have been close to giving up on teaching. There was one time I was so angry that I applied at a minimum wage job. I was ready to give up on everything. A few days later, I calmed down and retracted the application. But there were several other times when I got online and just looked for jobs outside of teaching because I wanted a real job.
There were several times that I thought about going back to school and getting a different degree because I did not believe that I would ever get a teaching job. I did not want to go back to school though. I just wanted a job.
I filled out countless job applications every week and I often wondered what the point was. It has been extremely difficult this year because I remember filling out applications for the same schools last year and never getting even an interview. I filled them out though because I knew that I would never get a job without them.
I almost did not want to go on the interview this week because it was a long ways away and I did not want to drive that far away to be rejected. I have done all that before. But then I ended up getting the job.
Getting the job has been a huge relief. I now can stop worrying that I will spend forever living with my parents or subbing for the rest of my life. I can stop filling out applications. At the same time though, I cannot help but feel bad for the applicants that did not get the job. I know what it is like to get the rejection letters without even getting an interview. I know what it is like to go on an interview and then get the rejection over the phone.
There have been times when I have thought about what I would do once I learned about getting a teaching job. But as time went on, I thought about it less and less. All I really thought about was the day that I could clean out my application folder and delete files on my computer. I also thought about the school application website where I could push the button saying that I have been hired. Now that I have done all that though, it is now time to think about my classroom. And that is a good thing.