A year ago, I graduated from college. I just knew that college was only the beginning of my really successful life. I had graduated Summa Cum Laude and was also the commencement speaker. With my high grades and my achievement, I figured employers were bound to hire me quickly. I did not realize that that was the end of my success for quite awhile.
Graduating in December with a degree in education makes life difficult though. There are not a lot of job options for teachers in December. My backup plan was to sub until the end of the school year and then I would be sure to get a job. But because I graduated in a different state than where I lived, I could not sub. I felt like a failure as I applied for another state’s teaching certificate. I did not go to college and put in all that effort so that I could sit at home.
The superintendent at the school in town felt sorry for me and decided to hire me as a janitor. After three days though, I could not take it. I hated the hours. I hated the cleaning. I looked down at myself. I had had low self esteem before I took the job as janitor, but then it got even lower.
A few weeks later, my teaching certificate arrived and I began subbing. I applied for almost every teaching job that was available in two different states. I went on a few job interviews and tried to be patient until someone hired me. Suddenly, the new school year began and I knew that I was going to be subbing again.
A year after I graduated, I am still a sub. This is not where I thought I would be a year ago. I knew the odds of finding a fulltime teaching job in December were not good but I did not think I would still be subbing after last May. I still look at myself as a failure as everyone around me goes off and does great things with their lives while I am stuck at home working as a substitute teacher and I do not even like it.