It started off like any other day. It was a day filled with excitement and anticipation for the day to come. But in a heartbeat, my world came crashing down. The meaning of life for me had been changed from everything I once knew.
Early that morning, I convinced my mom to let me wear my khaki Capri pants and my purple shirt that I wore for my senior pictures instead of my usual dress to church. She did not seem thrilled but she agreed. We were going to church at the lake and then I wanted to wear that for the rest of the day.
We arrived at the lake to find only one other person had shown up besides the pastor. It was decided that there would be no church at the lake. Instead, we would just have regular church a little later that morning.
Right after church was over, we rushed to the cousin family reunion. This was just like any other family reunion except for it was a smaller group. This one was being held at someone’s house and they had a pool.
None of my family was really looking forward to the family reunion. We just had to make an appearance and then we were going to leave. The camper was hooked up to the car. After the family reunion, we were going to drive about three hours and spend the night in a campground next to the amusement park. Tomorrow, the other side of the family would all get together and go to the park.
Right after we arrived, my dad got a phone call. My other grandparents had been in a car accident and were at the hospital a couple towns away. My parents did not know what to do. They really did not want to take the camper with them. Finally, another family member loaned them their vehicle.
Suddenly, the family reunion meant nothing to me. I did not want to swim or talk to anyone. I just knew something bad had happened. My grandma tried to tell me I was overreacting but I knew I wasn’t. Something serious had happened to them.
Several hours later, my grandpa’s phone rang. He did not want to answer it so he gave it to my aunt. My aunt took it and after she got done, she said she needed to my grandparents. I was frustrated. Why could I not know? They were my grandparents. Finally, they said that they wanted to talk to me and one of my brothers.
My aunt began by telling us the accident was really bad and that my grandpa had been badly hurt. I did not need her to tell me the rest. I knew my grandma was dead.
My aunt took us back to the house so that we could grieve. A couple hours later, my grandparents came and brought the rest of my brothers with them. Shortly after that, family members and friends came pouring in. My parents came back and brought my grandpa with them.
At dinner time, someone ordered pizza and then forced me to eat a slice. I was not hungry though. I was angry that I was being forced to eat.
That night, everyone left but I did not want to be alone. A couple of my brothers and I slept on the floor of my room. None of us got very much sleep though. I do not know what time one of my brothers left. I know I ended up in the bathroom writing in my diary at about four thirty in the morning. It just seemed like sleeping was forgetting my grandma.
My grandma was going to be an organ donor and I knew that they would figure out that she was not dead. They would say that it was all just a cruel joke or misunderstanding. The call I had been hoping for never came.
The next day, all the adults left to make funeral arrangements and my female cousins ended up in my room. We cried for a long time. I was shocked when one of my cousins said she wished she could be dead instead. I secretly had the same desire but I did not want to admit it to anyone. I thought it would be easier to be dead than to deal with the painful emotions I was going through.
That day, many people stopped by the house to say they were sorry and to give us food. I still was not hungry. I also did not want food that meant death to me. It took awhile before I was hungry again and comfortable eating the food people brought.