Everyone at church likes to ask me how school is going. I hate the question because I really feel all I do is lie. School is not going fine. The kids are horrible. I feel like I am in over my head. Everyday, I am presented with some challenge that I am not sure how to respond to. I have way too much stress in my life that leads me to cut a couple nights a week. And I feel like I am working all the time, even though I always have time after dinner to myself. I just feel like there is always something more I can be doing.
I know the people at church care about me, but I hate lying to these kind people. I do not like their responses when I am honest with them. One guy told me that I am trying to hard. Yeah, I have to try hard or I will fail. I already feel like I am a failure.