The Pen is Mightier than the Sword (but Sometimes They are Equal)

People that say the pen is mightier than the sword are clearly not cutters. To cutters, words and swords are equal. To a cutter, they will take those hurtful words out on their wrists.

I do not know what I was feeling the first day I cut. It was not the first time the thought had crossed my mind but after several reoccurrences and feeling severely depressed, I eventually gave in.

I was managing the swimming pool that summer and having a horrible experience. I was not getting along with my boss or the lifeguards. They had a lot of bad things to say about me. I found myself cutting a lot. I hated how I was letting people get to my wrist (literally) but I found that it was the only thing that helped me deal with the events of the summer.

And unfortunately, almost three years later, I am still a cutter, letting people get to my wrists. I tried to stop. I have managed to go several months without cutting, only to break down and cut. I always hate when I do it because it means that I have to start all over. I had been doing so well. Recently though, I no longer care. I have lost count how many times I have cut over the last few months with no regrets.

Many people do not understand why I do it or what I am feeling when I take the blade to my wrist. But I can tell you this: Words hurt. Words are just as sharp as a sword. They may say the pen is mightier than the sword, but to a cutter, the words will still cut.

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