Hanging out with my Friend

I am to hang out with my friend tomorrow. We were best friends in college but we have seen very little of each other since I finished school. This last year has been pretty bad. We hung out once during the summer and had breakfast together a few months ago. We rarely talk on the phone any more. She will text me occasionally but they are short messages. I used to enjoy our days when we would get together and go to the mall. But for some reason, I am not looking forward to tomorrow. I am slowly watching our friendship dissolve. I know we said we would be friends forever and I guess I am not ready to watch our friendship fade away, but I know it is happening. I really do not have much to tell her anymore. We are living two different lives right now and she just doesn’t understand my life. I don’t understand hers as well.

I find myself dreading tomorrow. I am not looking forward to lunch in the food court followed by a movie I have already seen. Will it be a bunch of awkward conversations of topics that neither of us care about?

I have yet to buy her a Christmas present. I shall have to do that tomorrow. I will also have to pay for gas and lunch and a movie ticket. I know I should not put a price on maintaining a friendship (and it is not like I have very many to begin with) but it will not be a cheap day.

There is snow in the forecast. Last year, it snowed a little bit and she cancelled. I am kind of hoping the same will happen this year as well. That makes me sound like a horrible friend, but it is what I am feeling. That is really sad that of my two friendships I have right now, I am trying to avoid the one.

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