It is easy to make a resolution to stop cutting when you are wondering what you should wear to work that day that covers the marks on your arms. You feel a lot differently when you are spending the weekend alone with nothing to do.
I am just so lonely today that I want nothing more than to cut. I know cutting would make me feel better. And since it has only been five days since I have last cut, it is not like I will feel guilty. I would feel guilty if I had been breaking a longer record. I have gone several months without cutting once and I have always felt guilty that I broke down.
Right now, I just feel like I am invisible. Nobody misses me. Nobody really cares. I am all alone in my apartment using food and stuffed animals as company. The TV is the only interaction I really get though.
I pray that I will not give in to the desire. The cuts are still healing from five days ago.