My Cutting Resolution

It is easy to make a resolution to stop cutting when you are wondering what you should wear to work that day that covers the marks on your arms. You feel a lot differently when you are spending the weekend alone with nothing to do.

I am just so lonely today that I want nothing more than to cut. I know cutting would make me feel better. And since it has only been five days since I have last cut, it is not like I will feel guilty. I would feel guilty if I had been breaking a longer record. I have gone several months without cutting once and I have always felt guilty that I broke down.

Right now, I just feel like I am invisible. Nobody misses me. Nobody really cares. I am all alone in my apartment using food and stuffed animals as company. The TV is the only interaction I really get though.

I pray that I will not give in to the desire. The cuts are still healing from five days ago.

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3 thoughts on “My Cutting Resolution

  1. You’re stronger than this urge. You will not regret fighting and choosing not to cut, but you’ll regret it if you do cut. 5 days may not seem like much to you, but you have to start somewhere. Anyone who’s ever gone 6 months, a year, 5 years, however long, they all were at 5 days one time.

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      • Anytime. I’m proud of you! I know how hard it is to fight urges, how much you can think you won’t regret one more cut, I’ve been there. Every urge you say “no” to will make you a stronger person. You may not be able to see it now, but I promise you, it will get better! I never used to believe it. But it’s true. Things will get better and you do have the power and strength to stop cutting for good.

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