When I left college, my best friend was worried about what would happen to our friendship. I was not too worried though. We did not live too far away and with Facebook and cell phones, we would be able to talk often. I knew that as long as we worked together, our friendship would survive.
At first, I tried to make sure that we talked about every two weeks. Most of the time, I would wait for her to talk but I would initiate the conversation if it had been more than two weeks. But then there were weeks where I was feeling depressed and felt like such a loser. I did not call during those weeks because I did not want her to know about my problems. I would just call when I was feeling better.
But as time went on, so did my problems. We talked even less as I was dealing with depression and she was busy working. We attempted to get together a couple times but it would rarely work out. Sometimes, it would be because she would cancel. Other times it was because of my mental state.
As I mentioned a few weeks ago, we were supposed to hang out over Christmas break and I was not looking forward to it. But then she cancelled because of the weather. I cannot say that I was disappointed. And we have not talked since then.
Today, I was thinking about our friendship and wondering if the relationship really means anything to me. The last time we talked, my friend mentioned possibly getting together to hang out at the amusement park like we have for the last two summers. I realized at that point that I really did not want to do that.
Maybe it is time to say goodbye. We live over five hours apart. We are living two separate lives and really do not have a lot in common. And with my mental illness problems, it is difficult to maintain relationships. I mean, our relationship is not really anything right now. Should I really bother to attempt to save it?