I Didn’t Cut!

I was not having a good night last night. I wanted to cut so badly. I had made a promise to myself that I would not cut but the promise did not really mean much to me last night. All I really wanted was to feel in control of my problems. I knew I would feel better if I cut. Knowing that people cared about my actions and knowing that they would be upset if I had a breakdown, got me through the night.

It definitely was not easy. I was so tempted to just go grab my scissors. I finally took a risk, went into the office where I keep both my scissors and highlighters, and used a highlighter to make several colored marks on my wrist. I had read about using markers instead of cutting online. I knew it would not really help but at least I was doing something. I decided that if the temptation got to be even worse, I would just take my scissors out to my car that way I would not be anywhere near them.

Eventually, I was able to distract myself with writing and that really helped.

I want to thank you for the encouragement and care though. I could not have gotten through last night without help.

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2 thoughts on “I Didn’t Cut!

  1. You did it! Congratulations! Great idea to try drawing on yourself, by the way. Writing can be a great help, just being able to get out your thoughts and emotions in one place.
    Next time you want to cut, remember this time and how you made it through without cutting. You’re doing a great job, and if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.

    Like

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