I Wanted to Cut but I Didn’t

I almost cut today. I think if I had not been at school and wearing short sleeves,  I totally would have. One of my students irritated me so much that at lunch time, all I really wanted to do was hide myself in the restroom and cut.

I have not felt the urge to cut in quite awhile. I am currently ten weeks clean and proud of my progress. However, today, I was willing to throw all that away. Thankfully, I have since calmed down and no longer want to cut.

The urge surprised me. I really did miss cutting at first but lately, I have not missed it at all. There are times when I feel the urge to take a marker and draw on my wrist but that is all I want to do. I have had no desire to cut until today.

I know that the desire will never go away completely but after being clean for so many weeks, I have definitely forgotten what it feels like to want to cut.

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One thought on “I Wanted to Cut but I Didn’t

  1. Good for you. As a recovering addict for the past 25 years, I still have days when I want to drink a beer. But they are fewer and further between. And the temptation passes as I walk away and pray.

    Keep up the good work.

    Like

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