I almost cut today. I think if I had not been at school and wearing short sleeves, I totally would have. One of my students irritated me so much that at lunch time, all I really wanted to do was hide myself in the restroom and cut.
I have not felt the urge to cut in quite awhile. I am currently ten weeks clean and proud of my progress. However, today, I was willing to throw all that away. Thankfully, I have since calmed down and no longer want to cut.
The urge surprised me. I really did miss cutting at first but lately, I have not missed it at all. There are times when I feel the urge to take a marker and draw on my wrist but that is all I want to do. I have had no desire to cut until today.
I know that the desire will never go away completely but after being clean for so many weeks, I have definitely forgotten what it feels like to want to cut.