I accidentally stabbed myself with my fingernail today on my wrist. Though the pain is minimal, it reminds me of the pain I used to feel after cutting. I will be eleven weeks clean tomorrow which I am really proud of but the pain also made me realize how much I do miss it. I miss the pain and the feeling of taking my problems into my own hands (literally). I know I would enjoy this pain even more if I had purposely caused it.
I have made it too far for me to just throw it all away though. Cutting is not the appropriate way to deal with my problems. It certainly is the easiest way to deal with life though.