Damage Control

I hate doing my eyebrows. I hate the obligation that females must have thin, beautiful eyebrows. There are other activities I would rather do then make my eyebrows look nice. It is even harder for me to grab a pair of tweezers and start pulling hair because of my OCD. My OCD prevents me from doing my eyebrows unless I do not have to work the next day. I cannot do my eyebrows on my day off (unless I happen to have two days off). I must do it right after I get off work and have the next day off. I feel like twenty four hours must pass between when I do my eyebrows and when I have to work.

I only have one day off a week so that makes it very difficult to get it done. It is even harder when I work late that night.

Because of my trichotillomania though, I sometimes to do not have much to do. Last night, I mostly had to do damage control. I just had to work to hide the bald spots. It was surprisingly easy. Sometimes, there is nothing I can do.

So for now, my eyebrows look somewhat normal. That will all change though the next time I pull.


Fight Against Shared Posts on Facebook

It seems like nothing on Facebook is original any more. Everyone feels the need to post things they find on other websites. It is really kind of annoying because after you have seen one ‘share’ you have basically seen them all. It really makes me wonder how much time people spend online, looking for things to share on Facebook.

For some people, they share very similar things every day. There are the people who share things about gun rights and cats and various other topics. For that person, it is usually the same topic every day.

I block all the shared posts. But since they come from so many sources, I keep on seeing them.

I have actually thought about deactivating my Facebook account. I have kept it though because I want to know what is going on in people’s lives. Shared links and pictures though do not tell me what is going on with a person though. It only tells me what they like or believe in.

Promotion without the Work

A few weeks ago I wrote about my friend that wanted to be promoted but had a funny way of showing it. He did not start work at the beginning of the season even though he had graduated from high school. He did not come in the week after that even though he was scheduled to work.

After that, he would call in at least once a week saying that he was sick. We would always laugh when the call came in because there was another girl that would always call in the same day. We knew neither of them were sick because they were both friends. They finally got in trouble for that.

Then, my friend got caught with his cell phone while working. The first offense is just a warning though. I am not sure how many warnings you get before you lose your job.

Last week, my friend left. I do not know if he resigned or if he got fired. The other girl is no longer working either. On Facebook, he mentioned that he got a new job.

I just think all of this guy’s actions are extremely odd because he wanted the promotion (he never would have gotten it because of his age) but apparently was not willing to work for it.

Family Pictures

Yesterday, I traveled three hours from the amusement park to my parents’ house. My grandparents were celebrating their birthdays today.

I decided to leave the party about ten minutes early. I needed to get back so that I can go to work tomorrow. But I could not leave because my aunt wanted family pictures.

I was very irritated with the idea. First of all, because I had to wait at least ten minutes before the pictures had to start. Then, there was the idea that I had to do pictures at all.

I hate my picture being taken. I am not the most attractive person. I have frizzy brown hair that has a mind of its own. Plus, I have trichotillomania so I have bald spots in my eyebrows. Also, I have no fashion sense and my glasses always seem to glare.

The other reason I hate doing pictures is because when I was a kid, my mom used to insist on my brothers and I getting a group picture taken every year. We would always be there for over an hour and the photographer would only take about five pictures total during that time. My brothers were not always the best behaved but the photographer would wait too long to take the picture and then my brothers would move.

So I reluctantly stayed to do the family pictures. I guess the pictures mean a lot to my aunt and maybe a few others. I guess the idea irritates me because we just had a family get-together a year or two ago and we did pictures then. Nobody has really changed since then.

Always Late

The other day, one of the really good teen works got in trouble for constantly being late so she just walked out. It was really sad because she was such a good worker, with the exception of always being late. I could not believe that she would leave just because of the lateness lecture. But then it got me thinking about something that happened to me several years ago.

Several summers ago, I was a pool manager. It was the worst experience I had ever had. But one day, I was late. I had good reason though. My boss told all the pool employees that we needed to arrive thirty minutes before opening. I had been doing that until it came time for swim lessons. Swim lessons started at eight o’clock in the morning. I got up early each morning and showed up thirty minutes early so that I could open the doors and test the water. And then I would sit, all alone.

The lifeguards did not show up thirty minutes early. They would literally show up at 7:59. The kids taking swim lessons would also show up at about the same time. There was no reason for me to be there so early. I decided I could wait ten more minutes before coming. And then, my boss discovered what I was doing.

I got a call at 7:34. I was out at my car, getting ready to go. I would be there in just a couple minutes. But my boss wanted to know where I was. He told me that I needed to be there thirty minutes early because that is when the water needed to be tested. I was angry because my boss never took the water testing seriously. I had been told at the beginning that if the water was at a certain level, the pool was not to open. Despite it being at the bad levels several times, my boss did not care (and later got in trouble with a health inspector for it).

I get to the pool and open the doors and then go to test the water. That is when I discovered that my boss had already done it at 7:20!!! That made me even angrier.

Later, the other manager and I decided the reason I got the lecture was because he was mad about something the other manager and I had decided to do the night before. I ended up quitting the next morning but it was not just because of the late lecture. Something had happened that night and that was on top of everything that had happened that summer. I had just had enough.

So maybe there was more to the girl walking out the other day. She will definitely be missed though.

Teens and Work

My new job has shown me a lot about people. I definitely look differently at people I have known for the last year or two. I have also changed my view on many of the new people that come to work. Many of the new people are teenagers. They are definitely interesting. I know not all teenagers are like that like I said, my view has definitely been changed.

One teen I was really excited to meet. Right away, she was very open about her past. She talked about her depression and problems with cutting. I admired her right away because she was able to tell people about her problems. I have never admitted that I am a cutter (former) to anyone. But a few days later, I changed my mind about her. Sure, I thought she was brave for admitting her problems, but she was also showing that work was not her thing. She would volunteer to work extra shifts but she never stayed to finish her shift. She always wanted to leave early.

Another teen I worked with was really excited to be there. She was excited to work with kids. I also admired her for her spirit. I believe it takes a special person to work with young kids. The next day though, her spirit was gone. I dealt with one of her complaints and after I left, there were several more.

The third teen was also really excited to work. She was so excited that she did not want a day off. I admired her as well for her hard working attitude. I had not seen her work though.

Two of the three teens are no longer working. I am not sure how much longer the third one will last. Like I said at the beginning, I know all teens are not like this. As a teen, I was always a hard worker. My brothers are the same way. But my parents always made us work for what we wanted. Plus, you just feel better when you work hard.

The Golden Rule

Yesterday, a woman stopped me at the amusement park to complain about the way she had been treated at one of the rides. I offered to call someone for her to talk to since I do not handle that sort of thing and she gets mad and walks away because I did not do anything. Hello! I just offered to call someone for her. I can understand why she had a problem on the ride. She was very rude. She is probably just as much to blame as the other person.

Some people these days are out to get everyone. You get what you put into life though. There is always the age long rule of treating people the way you want to be treated. Obviously, this woman wants to be treated badly because that is the way she treated me. I was not there for the incident in question but my guess is that she brought it on herself.

The woman’s response to me last night really bothered me. I know I should have just forgotten about it but I have anxiety and OCD. I cannot just let things go. I so badly wanted to cut last night. I have been clean since January 5th though. I have a feeling I will pick up the habit again once school starts (I am hoping I will remain strong) but in the meantime, I am proud for making it almost six months.

The woman’s response though got me thinking about a phrase I read on Google Images one time though: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will tear my skin apart. Even though it would be my fault if I cut because I am the one behind the blade and the one letting her get to me, it still makes me think about the power behind someone’s words.

What Do I Want to Do with My Life?

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my future. I am very happy living in the city. I am very happy with my job at the amusement park. And even though I am here until sometime in August, I cannot help but think about going home. I do not want to go back home where I am so unhappy. I do not want to go back to the small town or to teaching. I would rather stay here full time. I could see myself working at the amusement park the rest of my life. I cannot see myself teaching for the rest of my life. In fact, I do not see myself teaching that much longer. I do not even want to go back next fall.

I have been dreaming about having a job at Disney World. After all the reading I have on it though, I have learned that it is difficult to get a job there. And even if I did, I worry about supporting myself if the work is not full time. And what about if I did not like it? I would have left my stable teaching job and would probably have trouble getting rehired. Plus, I think I would miss my family a lot if I went to Florida.

I just wish life would be easier. I am praying that God will give me the answers I want. I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

Happy ‘Pick on Kimberly Day’

Today must have been Pick on Kimberly Day. It just seemed like everyone was out to be rotten to me. It started shortly after I arrived at work and asked to fill in on a ride. I had not been there very long when we had a large older guest that struggled to get off the ride. She managed to get on just fine but we had a hard time getting her off. We are also not allowed to do more than offer a hand. Only the first aid personnel can help. I called them and asked for assistance and they got mad at me for letting her on the ride in the first place. I had no idea when she got on because she had no problems. Ride operators cannot possibly call in every older overweight guest or first aid would never get anything done.

It was shortly after that when the ride operator decided to be a snob. Even though all of us were following the rules, she decided to remind me of the rules and act like a superior. It was not necessary. I know I should not let the woman get to me. I have heard that she is a very ‘interesting’ person and can be hard to work with. Still, the comment was not appropriate.

Not long after that, I was at a roller coaster when a guest complained to me that the ride operator would not let him wait in line for the front. I explained that every operator is different and that the shift would be changing in a few minutes. He did not stick around though for the explanation. He just walked away which I thought was very rude. If you want to complain, you should at least wait for an answer to your problem. And not getting the front of a roller coaster is a stupid thing to complain to a supervisor about. I know the front is an awesome seat but still.

I know not everyday at work is going to be wonderful. It also annoys me how much I let small things bother me. But there you go. Happy Pick on Kimberly Day.

What is Going Through Your Mind?

I have a friend at the amusement park that wants the same promotion that I got. It is a great goal and we will be looking for a few more people in a few weeks. However, this friend has a funny way of showing that he wants the promotion.

This guy graduated from high school a few weeks ago but despite being done with school, he still did not work the first full week of operations. He was put on the schedule the next week but then he said that he could not work at all that week. He also said that he needed to be done about halfway through June because he needs to get ready for college.

I was talking to him the other day and he still really wants the promotion. He told me he was going to work really hard in the next two weeks and see where it got him. He made it sound like he would stay longer if he got the promotion. I did not have the heart to tell him that he was not even being considered because of his crazy schedule.

His hard work really showed yesterday when he got caught with his cell phone.

The promotion would involve lots of hours and they want someone that they can rely on. Plus, he just turned eighteen so he hardly knows how to operate any rides. Last year, all he could do were assist jobs and kiddie rides. How can he train people how to operate rides when he does not know them himself?

I am having trouble understanding what is going through my friend’s mind. I guess it is not my problem though. It will be up to him to show that he deserves the job.