I Think I am Depressed Again

I think I am depressed. I do not feel happy. I feel like every step is at least a mile. I have lots to say, but do not have the energy to form words. I am exhausted despite sleeping through the night. I feel like crying often. Cutting is on my mind frequently.

My mind thinks that I should be happy. I had a reason to be depressed last school year. I hated my small town and my job. But now it is summer. I am living in the city and working at the amusement park. I should be happy.

I also know that depression does not work that way though. Depression does not care about the world around you, not really. Depression is rooted in the chemicals located in the brain. The chemicals in my brain do not care that I should be happy because it is summer and I have an amazing job. The chemicals in my brain are messed up. They do not care about season or location.

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3 thoughts on “I Think I am Depressed Again

  1. Keep staying strong. You know it’s just the depression, and that knowledge will help you. You’ve been doing really well, and I know you’ll work your way out of this. Depression is like a wave, it comes in and it goes out. This will go back out.
    Also, cutting isn’t worth it. It will add guilt to what you already feel. Keep staying strong and know that you have support.

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  2. I’m sorry to hear this. But, at least you are picking up the warning signs. If you can, try (and I know this sounds very hard, almost impossible) to keep yourself from sinking into a deep depression. So, take care of yourself, try to keep busy, and consider therapy or talking to an online counsellor. Stay strong. X

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