This evening, one of my teacher friends texted me and asked if I wanted to go on a walk. I really didn’t. I got back to my apartment yesterday after a great summer at the amusement park and discovered that the air conditioning was not working right. By the time I realized it was not working, it was too late to do any calling. So I went to bed with the temperature at 80 degrees. I knew that if I went on a walk, I would get hot and then I would have no where to cool off. But I agreed to go anyway.
The walk really put me down (and that is saying something because I have been feeling down ever since I arrived yesterday afternoon). I walked around town and the teacher talked about all the different people we saw. I did not recognize anyone and did not care about any of the stories the teacher shared with me about things that happened this summer.
The walk just confirmed that I do not belong here. I do not care about the people here. I know it is still early, but I know that depression is inevitable. It is too early for me to call what I am feeling right now depression. Right now, I just have a really negative attitude. I want nothing more than to get out of this place. I really do not belong here. I am not sure I can make it until May.