Overwhelming Depression

The dishes are piling up in the sink. Unfolded laundry is waiting in the dryer. Chores are piling up around me and yet I do not care. I have made nothing but very simple meals all week. I know depression is consuming me.

Going to school is difficult every day. I really do not want to be there. I put on a fake smile and reluctantly help the kids. In the meantime, I make a lot of mistakes because I am unable to focus. It is not their fault by brain does not work right.

I have always enjoyed writing and try to write every evening. I do not remeber the last time I have written.

This is a three day weekend. I am actually not going home though. I used to live for these weekends. Now, I could not care less.

I have not cut in nine months. Yet my fingers inch for something sharp on my wrist.

My doctor has me coming off my antidepressant so that I can start a new one soon. I felt depressed before I started coming off. I am really hoping the new medication will work. But in the meantime, I feel so helpless as I come off my medicine. I feel like I should be doing something instead of nothing.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s