I have been on my new antidepressant for a little over a week. It has not been an easy time. It was difficult coming off my old antidepressant (I will talk about that later). Plus, I had not been feeling well before that time. It began when I got my dosage increased. I have felt depressed for the last couple weeks. I have not wanted to go to school and I count down the hours until I can go home. I fake a smile with all of my students. I struggle to concentrate on anything they say or do.
Because of the way I was feeling, I did not go home for fall break. To my family though, that was ok because I had relatives coming the next weekend. But I was not sure I would be mentally capable of going home and faking smiles. Surprisingly though, I did go home and actually enjoyed myself. Going home was actually good for me. I thought that maybe my antidepressant was starting to work.
Sunday night, I was actually pretty calm. I never feel that on a Sunday night. However, at school on Monday, I realized that I was not really feeling that well. I was still feeling depressed. Today was more of the same. I am thinking that maybe my anxiety is lowering. I feel different. Yes, I am still depressed but not nearly as anxious. However, today, towards the end of the day, I started feeling a little better. I actually had a couple real smiles.
I just need to continue taking everything one day at a time and eventually, I will notice God’s healing through the form of my antidepressant.