Last week at church, an older woman asked if I would be interested in living with her. I gave it some thought that day. It was tempting because I would not have rent to pay and I would have someone to live with which would be nice on the lonely days. However, after that day, I decided against it. I never gave it another thought. I need my own space. I have a hard time even going home for a visit because I am not used to living with people. I like seeing people during the day but then at night, I want time to myself. I like having it perfectly quiet. When I go home, it is cold and loud. I have to share the bathroom.
I like living alone because I like being able to control the temperature. I like having my own bathroom. I like how I can leave my things however I want. And when I have bad days, there is no shame in not cooking or washing dishes. I can sing when I want.
I was nervous about going to church this morning because I was afraid to see this woman. I knew she would be expecting an answer. When I did not see her, I was relieved. I know that is horrible to think about someone not coming to church though. However, she was just running late and approached me at the end of the service.
I told her that I am hard to live with and that I needed my space. She told me she is hard to live with too. That did not make me really want to live with her after she said that (not that I wanted to anyway). She kept telling me me things though that would make the deal seem more desirable even though I knew that nothing would change my mind. Then, she told me to think about it some more.
I have thought about it a little more and still do not want to accept the deal. I am just unsure how to tell her. I do not want to hurt her feelings but it is me that I need to think about here.
Besides, what happens if it does not work out? Or what if she died? Housing is difficult to find in this tiny town. My apartment would be gone and I would have no where to live.