I was dreading going to my parents’ house for Christmas break. I hate having to live out of a suitcase. I hate how loud the house is. I hate having to live in my brother’s room. I hate waking up freezing in the middle of the night because my parents’ keep the heat very low. And this holiday I knew was going to be even more difficult because I would be trying to hide my antidepressant and my spinner ring.
So far, the break has not been too bad. I have added extra blankets to the bed and have set an alarm to remember to take my medicine in private. I Tend to keep my spinner ring hidden by covering my hands. My family knows jewelry is not my thing and they would be sure to ask lots of questions if they knew it spun. However, so far I have only had one question about it.
My family spent the last three days at my grandpa’s house. And now that we are back at home, I just keep thinking it would be nice to return to my apartment. It is not like I really have any other obligations here. My dad thinks I should take my cat to the vet to get him declawed but I am not sold on the idea. One of my relatives invited me to go shopping in the city on Tuesday which I do need to do but I am not sure I really want to spend the day with her.
I do not know if we have New Year’s plans. Usually, if I am not depressed, I end up going over to the same aunt’s house that invited me to go shopping to watch movies and then we spend New Year’s Day at my grandma and grandpa’s house. I do not like going over to my aunt’s house because I cannot sit still for so many hours and watch chick flicks (ew). And I do not really enjoy going over to my grandparents’s house because I have an aunt that likes to tease and another aunt that is bossy and is very critical.
I do not want to hurt my parents or anyone else’s feelings but I am just ready to go home. I know it will not be good for me or my depression to spend too much time alone in my apartment but I am just not sure how much more of this I can take.