The Cutting Addiction

The other night, some people were talking about this older woman that has a gambling addiction. I really did not like the conversation because it reminded me how I was addicted to cutting. At first, it was easy to think that I was better than this woman because my cutting only affects me while this woman’s gambling problem affects her family that has to bail her out as well as herself because she does not have money to live quite often. But then I remembered that while my addiction just hurts me, it is still difficult to overcome, just like this woman’s gambling. I know how much cutting was on my mind when I was still ok with being a cutter. And I remember how difficult it was to stop before I managed to make it eleven months. And even now, I have had relapses because the desire never completely goes away though some days are better than others.

The conversation made me wonder if there really was any difference between addictions. And from what I read online, I do not believe there is. With that being said though, I really did not like comparing myself to the woman’s gambling addiction. If there ever was an incentive to stop, that comparison was good enough for me.

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2 thoughts on “The Cutting Addiction

  1. Addictions are a really interesting subject. With both cutting and gambling, your body gets the high off the adrenaline/endorphins only, whereas a substance addiction is different due to it being a substance. Addictions happen when your brain associates a response (example: cutting) to a trigger. A professor once used the analogy of an indent in a dirt road from riding a bike on it. Your brain gets used to going from the trigger to the response using that indent. But by using other coping methods, we can create new indents, and when we keep using them, we deepen the indent, thus strengthening the connection to the new coping method.

    Liked by 1 person

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