I survived my first counseling experience. I was definitely nervous going in. I guess it was not bad. However, there were things that were difficult to talk about. There are things I do not even like to think about to myself and it was extremely difficult to talk about. It was difficult to talk about my grandma, even though she died six years ago. It was difficult talking about how even though I was the valedictorian in high school, it does not bring me joy because I feel like I stole the opportunity from my best friend who really wanted it.
She mentioned some things that I did not agree with. My antidepressant causes me to dream very vivid dreams. She thinks I need to tell my doctor. I know that dreams are just a side effect. Same as how I cannot sleep with my OCD medication. However, the antidepressant is not making me depressed which I will take with the dreams. The same with the OCD medication.
I will go back next week. I am definitely nervous. I am not ready to talk about my grandma. I am not ready to deal with the painful feelings that I experienced six years ago.