I am not feeling that well right now. During church, I had to constantly hold back the tears. And last night, I had a strong desire to cut but thankfully I did not. I had been feeling great until the last week. I could not understand what had changed. It seemed like my medication was helping. But then during church, it hit me as to why I am feeling depressed. I was so confused right now. I desperately want to leave this town and find another teaching job. But another part wants me to stay. I feel like I am on a roller coaster with this decision. People have been asking me quite frequently what I plan to do next year and I am honest with them and say that I do not know. However, I feel that I need to talk to someone in depth about my dilemma. But that would mean talking to my friends. They would understand why I want to leave. However, they are part of the reason I want to stay.