Sometimes you have to give up on people; not because you don’t care but because they don’t.
I found this great quote online the other night and felt that it really summarized my friendships and what I had been feeling for awhile. At the end of my college career, my friends and I went through a difficult period. While we made up before the end, our friendship was never the same. I stayed in contact with one of my friends and talked occasionally through letters and Facebook with another.
With the first friend, we would hang out occasionally and I would try to remember to call her at least once a month. We knew what was going on in each other’s lives and we enjoyed seeing each other. My second friend I would Facebook message off and on inconsistently. We never really said much other than that we missed each other and that we needed to get together some time.
I gave up on this second friend first. Our relationship was so strained from our problems in college and the little contact we made meant nothing. I knew that I would be friends with the first friend for life though. However, I had not accounted for mental illness getting in the way of our friendship and making it difficult for me to talk or see her. And not too long ago, I realized it was time to let this friendship go. After all, there were things that I did not know about her anymore but would find out through Facebook. It kind of hurt that I had to learn about these things this way but I knew that it was a sign that we needed to say goodbye.
At the end of February, the second friend contacted me through Facebook. I was going through an extremely rough time with my mental problems. Even though I did not go into specifics, I told her that I could use prayers. This friend promised to contact me and I debated how honest I would be with her. I actually thought we would be rekindling our friendship again. However, she has yet to contact me. I know I got my hopes up. I know that our friendship is over and that I just need to accept it.
My first friend contacted me a few weeks after that through text messages. This was about the time that I realized we had not talked in forever and that it was time to let go of our friendship. I was not feeling that great when she texted me so the conversation was pretty one sided. She would ask questions and I would answer them but not ask anything in return. I wondered if I had a mistake about thinking that our friendship was over though. But as soon as the text messages started, they were over. Then, a few days later, my friend suddenly responded to the last text message that I had sent. I was pretty hurt about the amount of time that had gone by and never did respond to her text.
I really cared about these friends in college but I realize that it is time to move on. It is not necessarily my fault. I have tried to maintain these friendships, but you cannot have a one sided friendship.