Ever since I have gotten my medication straightened out for depression and OCD, I have felt relatively normal. I have had some rough days but for the most part, I am feeling much better. Last week, especially last Friday night, I went through a particularly rough time. I am not sure if the storm is over but for now, there is some sun in my life. Last week, I noticed that my OCD was very bad and that I was falling into my required routines and object placement. I noticed many times that I was trying to pull the hair from my eyebrows again.
Then, Friday night, I became extremely lonely. I cut myself and felt suicidal. I contacted the Samaritans through email but that was not helping. The Samaritans take about twelve hours to respond. I considered calling the suicidal hotline but could not make myself go through with it. Has anyone else called the suicide hotline? What was it like? I am finding that the Samaritans are not as helpful as they once were.
Yesterday, I was still dealing with the depression from the night before. I found it difficult to out of bed to live life. I really did not do that much but after spending some time with friends, I am feeling better. Today, I got out of bed ready to live my life. I have actually had a productive morning. I managed to answer several emails and complete several chores
There is one big thing I need to do today. I pray for support. I know it is the right thing to do. With my mental problems though, it is going to be difficult.