I decided at a young age that I was not going to have kids. All the adults told me that I would change my mind but my opinion never wavered at all. In fact, it only became stronger as time progressed. I told the same thing to my mom last night and she still does not believe me. I am not in a relationship and am definitely not looking for one. I hate being alone but I don’t want to be in a relationship. And I am most definitely not having kids.
With all my mental problems, I know that raising a kid would be extremely difficult. There are days when I just shut down. I don’t cook or do any chores. That can go on for several days. I get stressed just going to work. I have to take anxiety medication to get groceries. I have no idea how I would explain my missing eyebrows or cuts to my child. Adding a child to the formula is not going to make life any easier for me. Sure, some day I might get my problems under control, but I really am not out to make my life more complicated.
Also, I have the freedom to come and go. I am not stuck finding a babysitter or making my life revolve around the child. I am just too independent to allow my life to work around others.
Plus, I cannot imagine raising a child in today’s world. I look at my students and several of the high school students I dealt with when I managed the pool when I was in college. Kids today are spoiled rotten and are lacking respect for others. They are so out of tune with the world because they are attached to their electronic devices. I know that would not be true of my child but it is hard to think that my child would be influenced by these rotten children.
There are times when I think it would be great to raise a child to become a servant of God. I think it would be great to teach him or her about God’s salvation and having them work for the Lord. I guess I can still instill these beliefs in others though.