Everyone is Out to Get Me

I feel like the whole world is against me. Or maybe it has just been a long week (which it has). It is just one of those days where everything is just supposed to go wrong. I got my prescriptions refilled. It just took a lot of text messages between me and my doctor. The bad thing is that I am coming off one of my antidepressants and increasing the medication I take for OCD. I was very depressed last time I came off my antidepressant. And I hate my OCD medication because it makes it hard to sleep. I guess on the plus side I did not have to drive thirty minutes to the next town to pick them up. I had a friend do it.

I got called by the school I interviewed at on Tuesday. I did not get the job. I guess I really do not care because I really did not want to teach fifth grade. But I really did want to move closer to home. I think the worst part is that the entire school seems to know that I went on an interview and asking when I would hear. Now I get the joy of telling everyone that I got rejected. They won’t understand how difficult it is for me to interview. They don’t see the social anxiety and depression because I hide it.

Also, I had noon duty today and the kids were out of control. I guess I should have expected it since it is the last Friday of the year but it is still frustrating. And then, I was not going to get a break because the specials teacher was absent but thankfully she returned. I just needed a break from the kids because they feel that it is time to shut down.

On top of all that, it seems like nobody can talk to me very nicely. I have just been asking questions which I think should be done when the answer is not obvious. I did not ask to be talked to rudely.

The last thing I had to deal with today is the cuts on my wrist. They looked extremely bad and it was too warm today to cover my arms up. I ended up covering them with two bandaids with the intention of telling my students that my cat scratched me with his back claws but surprisingly they never asked. They just ask about everything else though.

I guess I should be celebrating that I have gotten my medication, nobody knows that I am a cutter, I am done with noon duty for the year, there are only three days left of school and I am expected to attend a conference for one of them, that I did get a break today, and that I will not be teaching fifth grade next year. Maybe I will feel better after a good night sleep (hopefully).


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