I was upset when I got the call the other day that the school I had just interviewed at decided to hire another person. However, as much pain as it caused me, I also knew that God had bigger plans for me. Besides, I did not want to teach fifth grade. And, I had a different school in mind. There was an opening at the school where I had done my student teaching. I had asked my cooperating teacher to put in a good word for me. She warned me that there were some local people applying but I figured I would at least get an interview and then I could actually prove that I was better than those other people. However, I got the rejection letter in the mail today and it really hurt. I hate this place. I often think my mental problems are related to this horrible town. Maybe if I lived closer to my family and to an actual city, I would not be so tempted to kill myself. Because here, I have absolutely little reason to live. I should be used to this kind of rejection. After all, it took me a year and a half to find a job once I graduated college. And, I have a job right now. However, I have dreams for myself that obviously God does not share.