The Problems with Cutting

I had a couple of rough days last week and ended up cutting. Because of the warm weather and the fact that my scratches did not look like cat scratches but actual cuts, I have been covering them with a bandaid. This evening, I decided I needed to take the bandages off for awhile because my skin was starting to itch. The scabs are attempting to fall off and they really itch. I am really tempted to pull the scabs off but I do not need more scars to symbolize what I have done. And tomorrow, I will have to put more bandaids on because it still looks like deliberate cuts.

The other day, I was wondering why I have never dealt with really hiding my cuts. But today, I figured it out. Last summer was part of my eleven months where I did not cut. There was another summer where I had tried to give up cutting and was successful for four months. I guess this is the reason I needed for quitting.

Surprisingly, nobody has asked about my ‘injury’ despite having to wear two bandaids to cover the cuts up. My friends would automatically figure it out. And with my students that are usually very curious, I would tell them the cat did it. Thankfully, I have not had to be honest or lie at all.


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