Counseling Again?

Sometimes, there is a part of me that thinks I should give counseling another try. The only reason I am able to sleep is with sleeping medication, there are days when I feel like life is not worth living, I think about cutting often (I haven’t cut since May though), I hate my medication and sometimes don’t even take it due to the side effects,  and I have very little of my eyebrows left after pulling a lot of the hair in the last week or so.

The last time I was in counseling (last April) I quit after a month because I felt it was not helping me. I was quick to blame the counselor but I have since learned that I was partly at fault. There are times when I am thinking that I will probably start again but then I am reminded of other factors that made counseling difficult last time and I wonder if I really want to deal with those things.

My counselor is the only one in this area so I don’t have a choice about who I see. And I am not sure if I should try her again after the way I abruptly ended our sessions last time. I have no problem explaining why I left. I am sure she would understand if I say that I was not sure how counseling worked and what to expect but since then I have learned. However, I am not sure if she or I were the problem. What if it is her? Then I would just be wasting my time.

The other reason counseling was a problem was because my counselor does not even work in my town. I have to drive thirty minutes away which is kind of a pain when you have spent all day at work. Then, for a couple of weeks, I had to go to her other office which is over an hour away because I was not yet a regular at the closer office. They were going to make me go even farther away because she was moving offices but I refused so I missed a couple of weeks until they could get me in the closest town. But then I ended up quitting so it didn’t even really matter.

If I were to go again, I would not be willing to drive other than the closest town. I would just have to refuse some appointments until the time finally worked for me. This time, I also know what to do to make sure my issues are addressed.

I have been praying about counseling and hopefully I get an answer soon.



3 thoughts on “Counseling Again?

  1. That was a great idea from nickyab. I completely forgot, but there is pastoral counseling. They do a completely different program than a Clinical Mental Health Counselor does, however it could open up a selection of counselors for you!
    I really, really wish there was another counselor in your area. If you do decide to go back to the other one, telling her why you quit could help her know how to help you best.


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