So Done with It

I have had with some of my students as well as the administration. The principal probably thinks I cannot do my job but my job is to teach and the students are to learn. And I cannot do that when a student is causing disruptions or refusing to work. And yet, there are many times during the day that I have to, despite having some assistance now.

I know I should not complain but I know that I should not come home crying every day. There are rough days for every job but I have only enjoyed one day in the three weeks that I have dealt with students. That is also equivalent to the number of good days I have had.

There are times when I want nothing more than to quit. That is really sad saying that the new school year has just begun. There are other days when I contemplate a career change. But today I looked into some possible careers but I really do not know what I want to do. I am just thinking that I should probably get out of teaching. And there are the really bad days when I think that suicide is a better option than feeling like a failure in life because I cannot even do my job without feeling like a failure or being happy. I even contemplated taking home the scissors I left at school so I would not cut so that I could deal with all the stress and emotions I have been feeling today.

My counselor was no help in this situation last time. I know what my friend would say but I am not as bold as her. I already feel like I have over spoken recently due to everything I have dealt with and I really do not want to cry in front of the principal. I am at my wits end though and am tired of dealing with all of this. I really do not think that it is fair to me either.

 

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5 thoughts on “So Done with It

  1. It’s not fair to you, and I don’t think you’re a failure in life or in your job. What’s happening is out of your control. It doesn’t sound like the administration is dealing with the student well enough.
    Just because you looked at other careers doesn’t mean you have to know what you want to do right now. Give it time, gather information on the careers so you have all the info you need to make a decision. No decision has to be made right now.
    I’m sorry your counselor isn’t helping, it actually disturbs me. I’m wondering if there’s a way to take the essence of what your friend would say and put it into your own words, so it feels more like you (hope that makes sense).
    And I don’t think your job should make you so upset on a daily basis. It’s completely unfair that the administration isn’t doing more to help you, so that you can better teach the other students.

    Liked by 1 person

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