I have had with some of my students as well as the administration. The principal probably thinks I cannot do my job but my job is to teach and the students are to learn. And I cannot do that when a student is causing disruptions or refusing to work. And yet, there are many times during the day that I have to, despite having some assistance now.
I know I should not complain but I know that I should not come home crying every day. There are rough days for every job but I have only enjoyed one day in the three weeks that I have dealt with students. That is also equivalent to the number of good days I have had.
There are times when I want nothing more than to quit. That is really sad saying that the new school year has just begun. There are other days when I contemplate a career change. But today I looked into some possible careers but I really do not know what I want to do. I am just thinking that I should probably get out of teaching. And there are the really bad days when I think that suicide is a better option than feeling like a failure in life because I cannot even do my job without feeling like a failure or being happy. I even contemplated taking home the scissors I left at school so I would not cut so that I could deal with all the stress and emotions I have been feeling today.
My counselor was no help in this situation last time. I know what my friend would say but I am not as bold as her. I already feel like I have over spoken recently due to everything I have dealt with and I really do not want to cry in front of the principal. I am at my wits end though and am tired of dealing with all of this. I really do not think that it is fair to me either.