I guess I should have known it was too good to last. My students had a couple of good days and I had a little more faith in myself that maybe I could be a teacher and that I had just been impatient for my students to get the hang of things at the beginning of the year. Then today, I had more than enough to deal with and I want more than anything to quit.
I have two people come in throughout the day to help with one student. I know I should not be greedy, but they are not with him all day and he really needs someone with him one hundred percent of the day. I would not mind working with him but I have other students that need help too. Besides needing help academically, behavior can be an issue too. His behavior was something I had to deal with today and the principal was too busy to deal with the student.
Later, the principal came in to deal with the student and got mad at me for not doing anything. I have tried multiple things with the student trying to get him to behave and nothing seems to motivate him! He is in his own world and unable to focus on anything. He doesn’t care about what privileges he loses after a couple of minutes. That is why I called the principal to deal with the student. Despite the behavior being extremely horrible, I am at a loss.
It was right when the principal got after me that I wanted more than anything to quit. I know nobody is perfect and I should accept the criticism. I am just tired of everything I put up with. And it is the same things every day!! Nobody gets it either! I think I would get more support if people got it!
Then, to make matters worse, I did not even get a break from the students today except at lunch. The only special the students had today got cancelled. This isn’t the first time it has happened. There were times last year when I didn’t get a break at all because I also had to do noon duty. Again, people don’t get it. Teachers need a break in order to keep their sanity. Instead, I get irritated with the students and lose my patience quickly. I also get overwhelmed because I do not get time to complete my own work. Whatever. It is not like I wanted to complete my lesson plans for next week at school anyway. Especially since it is way easier.
I have no idea how I am supposed to get through this school year. I want more than nothing than to quit. I can’t quit though. And lucky me I get to endure everything for the rest of the year!!
I very badly want to cut right now. Even though my children scissors are at school so that I won’t cut, I traded them with large adult scissors with the hope that I would not use them on my wrist for the fear that they are bigger. However, I am not exclusive. I also use many other objects.