As I began thinking about writing this blog, it occurred to me that I have certainly been having a lot of lonely weekends lately. It is starting to become a horrible rerun and I am ready to change the channel.
My friend left last Saturday and got home sometime on Wednesday so that she could get to her practice. I knew I was not going to see her that day because of it but I still was excited that I would get to see her soon. And then Wednesday night, I got sick and missed school yesterday. I saw her for a brief second yesterday because I asked if she could possibly go to the store and bring me something. I also saw her for a brief second today because I managed to make it about three hours before I was ready to go back home. And I just have a feeling that this will scare away my friends for the weekend even though I am feeling a lot better and will hopefully feel nearly one hundred percent tomorrow (physically, not necessarily mentally).
Anyway, I have become aware that loneliness is a constant complaint of mine and wondered if maybe God was asking me to do my part in this situation. If it were not for my friends, I really would have nobody. They invite me on all sorts of events like going to the nursing home to visit their family or to go get their new car. I have always said yes to these trips because it means that I can get away from my loneliness for awhile. I have really come to enjoy these odd moments and always look forward to the next one.
I know that my friends are not expected to invite me on such outings. And they also have lives of their own that do not revolve around me. There are times when they need to attend to other matters and cannot always include me. I get that. But it also means that unless I want to continue all these lonely days, I need to do something about it. I am just not sure what. There are no groups around here for me to join. This community is filled with old people and the people that are my age only have interest in the rural lifestyle that keeps them here.
It makes me wonder why God would bring such a lonely, introverted person out here anyway. I have always had a hard time making friends. And now God is calling me to possibly make a few additional friends in addition to my two friends I have right now?
After being sick and spending all my time with online shows, I really do not need another two days of me, myself, and I. But I get it. I would not want to hang around with someone that has been sick.