Done with Teaching/Done with Obligations

Ever since I began teaching here in the middle of nowhere, the school has had a goal to improve state writing test scores. Because fourth graders have to take the writing test, I am responsible for preparing and implementing the test to part of my class. Last year, the principal suggested that I attend this state writing workshop in a city two and a half hours away. I refused because it was during fall break. Even though I did not end up going home that weekend, I still felt I deserved a break. It ended up that I withdrew from my antidepressant that weekend so it was a good thing I did not choose to do anything.

Anyway, the rest of last school year, the middle/high school English teacher has talked to me about attending the workshop. It sounds like she has taken a lot away from it which has helped her students’ scores. However, it sounds extremely long, boring, and repetitive and I have a hard time focusing and become very negative the longer something like that continues. And last year, I had no intention of returning to this school so I never expected to go at all.

I heard this year that the state is making changes to the test so it will not be implemented this year. However, yesterday, the English teacher sent me an email and told me to prepare because the workshop is coming soon. She sent absolutely no details though and in my research, I learned nothing.

I really do not see why it would be necessary to go in the first place. After all, the test is not going to be implemented this year. And I have already missed some days this year for being sick and I am required to attend a three day conference next week. I really do not need to be gone another day even though I still get paid for it because really, missing days just makes life more stressful for teachers. It actually creates more work.

Then, there is the reason that I am done teaching. I do not need to waste time and energy in order to attend this conference that will end up benefiting no one. That is the reason why I also do not want to take classes for my reading endorsement.

I talked to my friend about the test and the email but she was not very sympathetic. Of course, she does not know of my plan to leave teaching. I am not ready for people to know. I will talk to my friend when the opportunity arrives but I am not just going to randomly mention it.

My life is complicated enough right now without adding additional tasks. That is not even including everything going on in my head such as trying to fight my OCD (talked about it briefly at counseling) and trying to decide what I will do with my life after teaching.

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2 thoughts on “Done with Teaching/Done with Obligations

    • I agree. I have my doubts that anyone else will agree with me though since my friend and the English teacher think I need to go. But it is my decision and if gets to that point, I will stand up for myself. I have my reasons. Nobody else needs to know them.

      Liked by 1 person

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