BFF 4-Ever?

In college, one of my friends and I promised that we would be friends forever. I had no doubt that that would happen. It hadn’t worked out with my friends in high school despite me trying to stay in contact and a couple of us working together for two summers. But my college friendships were deeper than my high school friendships since in high school, I mostly saw my friends at just school. In college, it was different because we were doing a lot of things together: Meals, church, homework, etc…

I graduated a year and a half before my best friend in college. After I was finished, I made it my goal to call her at least once a month and we would often hang out by going to the mall and she came and visited me for two summers when I was working at the amusement park.

At some point though, things began to change. My friend would invite me to hang out and sometimes I would agree and then she would cancel on me. The other times I did not agree it was because I was feeling depressed and just wanted to be alone. The phone calls became fewer and fewer. The mall trips and amusement park visits ended. We ended up pursuing our own careers and ended up hours apart. It just became too difficult to hang out even if I was mentally able to.

I am not exactly sure when I gave up on our friendship. It just wasn’t practical anymore. It got to the point that I had no idea where she was working or who she was dating. But then for the last couple weeks, my friend has texted me several different times. The texts come out of nowhere. At some point, they stop and then a few days later, she will respond to a comment or question like the there hadn’t been days in between texts.

The messages bother me. I gave up on the close friendship a long time ago. Because I really do not want to pursue the friendship, the conversations are a little one sided. She will ask me questions and I give short answers. At some point, she just won’t text back which I am grateful. However, like I said, she will respond in a few days.

I got another text today. She wanted to know how my trip was. She knew about the trip because of the pictures I posted on Facebook. I have yet to answer though. I feel like I am only texting her as an obligation. It is not that I wanted our friendship to end. But over time, it fell apart and it is not going to repair itself when we live hours apart and only communicate through text message. Plus, I have been through a lot in the last few years which has caused me to change and grow up. My friend would not understand my mental struggles and all that I endure everyday in an attempt to have a ‘normal’ life.

I feel bad by ignoring the text message. It is such a simple question from an old friend. Plus, I am always lonely. However, this is a weak friendship. It is not going anywhere. Also, the conversations end randomly. Am I making the right decision here?


2 thoughts on “BFF 4-Ever?

  1. I don’t know that there is a “right” decision. It depends. It’s curious to me that she’s started texting you within the past few weeks. Had you guys been talking before that? Do what feels right to you.


    • I don’t even remember when we last talked. I don’t think it is best for me at this moment to pretend to have a ‘friendship’ because like I said, she will respond to something several days later. I don’t want to suddenly feel happy that I have another friend and then be a little hurt every time she doesn’t respond. I guess it will bother me for a few days but in the long run it will be best for me.

      Liked by 1 person

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