Social Anxiety and Physical Illness

The community has been advertising a vender fair since maybe August. I was looking forward to it being over because I was tired of it being on my Facebook newsfeed. But then several times the last couple of days, I was asked if I was going to attend. I had never planned on going because I am not really into that sort of thing. Plus, since this was an unfamiliar situation to me that meant being around community people, I knew it would mean social anxiety. I said maybe I would go to keep those people happy. I knew it would really depend on how desperately lonely I was.

However, before I could reach that point, the school secretary called me this morning and asked if I wanted to go. I really was not feeling one hundred percent physically and not really up for the fair but because someone had invited me, I decided to go.

I have gone to another event once with the secretary in the past. I really like talking to her and she is really nice but I do not do well with her outside of a school setting, especially alone. However, I definitely would not have faired well going to the craft fair by myself. Imagine walking really fast past everything and never stopping to examine something more closely.

We were about halfway through looking at everything (thankfully the secretary never spent much time at any of the displays) when I realized that I was not feeling well. I was worried that I might pass out. I have done that before and it is rather embarrassing. I never say anything beforehand because it is embarrassing. It is just as embarrassing if it happens though. Thankfully, we managed to get out of there fairly quickly without me having to say a word. Then, I got home safely where I could then lay down and take a nap until I felt better.

Despite my social anxiety and the fear of almost passing out from not feeling that great from earlier, I am glad I got out. Now, when people ask me if I actually went, I can say that I did and not look like a small town community loner (not that I care).


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