Maybe I Need Time to Think

The other day at counseling, I told my counselor that I was having problems with pulling my hair. She did not know that I had trich since I have only been seeing her for a short time since my last counselor got sick. I have tried dealing with trich on my own. I wear spinner rings, I carry stuff in my pocket to play with, I sometimes wear bandaids. But it is hard to stop something that you are not always aware that you are doing. When I notice I am pulling, I do stop. But my hands are like magnets and are attracted to my eyebrows. No sooner will I have noticed that I am pulling and put my hands down only to find them back on my face.

I currently think of myself as a pirate since I only have one eyebrow. I guess it is my way to making the situation a little bit better. It is not like I enjoy missing my eyebrow though. Especially when I know that I am going to slowly lose the other one.

I was hoping that the counselor would have some suggestions. Basically, she told me it was not noticeable (my friend has said the same thing) but that does not mean I still need to be walking around like this. Then, she told me that basically I have an addiction to pulling my hair and that I just need to find a way to distract myself.

What she said kind of hurt. I have never looked at my hair pulling as an addiction! How can I try to stop something that I am only semi-aware of doing? I am trying but I do not always have success. Shortly after telling her about my trich, she caught me pulling and I did not even realize it. That is what is so frustrating. People that do not have trich do not understand that you cannot just stop. If I could, I would not be pulling.

Since my appointment on Thursday, I have really been thinking about whether I should take a week off just to process what has happened on my own and do some reevaluating about whether I should continue with counseling. After all, we really did not have anything to talk about. However, it still bugs me that I am letting her opinion get to me. Like I said, you cannot truly understand trich unless you have it yourself. I just want to forgive her and move on.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Maybe I Need Time to Think

  1. Hang in there. I struggle with Trich/eyebrow pulling too. It is a mortifying thing sometimes, and yes, it is so very hard to catch.

    The thing with addiction, or hair pulling, or whatever unconscious traits similar – is that they give us something. They relieve an anxiety, or soothe, or provide release/satisfaction etc. Even though the repercussions might be negative. I don’t think she was trying to judge you, but to point out that the difficulties in treating/addressing that are similar to what addiction might be.

    For me, I’ve been working on a few things.

    Short-term, in the moment help:
    1) Distraction
    2) “Fidgets” things that keep my fingers busy and away from my face, etc.

    Long-term:
    1) I’m trying to determine when it happens, and learn to notice it more when it does. What am I feeling? What am I doing?
    2) The best way to address the symptoms, is to identify the underlying causes that bring out these behaviors. Which, for me, is dealing with my PTSD and Anxiety.

    ~T

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s