Some of the people at school know that I am looking for a job. They know that I want a job outside of education. The bad thing is, some of these people are gossips. I need references, though. And that means asking some people.
I have always found it difficult to ask people to be references. I really do not get close enough for people to ever really get to know the real me. The people that actually do meet reference material end up leaving or something that makes it difficult for them to become references. My jobs haven’t always made it easy to find references, though. I quit that job at the pool. That job had the same boss as when I worked summer recreation the two summers before that. Then, I worked in an office in college. They were great references but I haven’t been there since 2012. The school I am at right now is very small and that limits potential references.
Anyway, references are not only difficult to find but with my social anxiety, it is even more difficult for me to ask. So yesterday was a big deal for me.
The worst thing about this whole situation is that a lot of people know but my ‘friend’ does not. I cannot ask her to be a reference. Also, she was not even at school yesterday. I am not sure whether I should tell her tomorrow so that she will find out from me or if I should just pretend that it is not a big deal and let her find out from the gossips. We are not really close anymore but I have a feeling that she will be upset if she finds out from them. I just don’t know what to do.