It has been awhile since I have last blogged. My medication got changed and now I feel like a completely new person. The thing is, the only life I have really known is depression and anxiety which stopped me a lot of times from truly living my life. I am finding that being ‘normal’ is rather odd but also very nice.
One thing new I got to try was an event at church. In the past, I never would have gone to a church event without any friends going. But I went to a church dinner (something even scarier than regular church events) and sat with some people I know and ended up having a great time. I was so proud of myself that night that I was almost in tears. I emailed my counselor that night and she was proud of me too. That night has become a reference to what my life has become.
I got invited to a Mary Kay party tonight but I am not sure I really want to go. It is a three day weekend and I am always lonely but I am not really into that kind of thing. Plus, it is some shaving legs party or something of that sort which I find kind of embarrassing. Plus, those parties are always about buying things and the products are so expensive and I am allergic to a lot of things that go on the skin. I guess even though I am a new person, I still will find things that are not right for me.
Another thing I am currently working on is trying to find another job. My counselor and I have decided that teaching is not right for me. I still have no idea what I want to do. I have applied for a lot of jobs and have gotten a few leads but they want someone right away and I am under contract until May. I am getting very impatient and am constantly being reminded by God that I need to trust Him. It definitely is not easy.
Life is still hard despite the medication. But I am trying and am at least getting somewhere than I was before the medication changes.