It has been awhile since I have last written. I have been busy and did not have much to say. Pretty much anxiety has consumed me. I have started taking Ativan in addition to my daily medication without my doctor’s approval. I still have the pills left over from a long time ago and thought that they might help with the extreme anxiety.
What has gotten me all anxious? Well, it is almost time for teacher contracts to be signed and I still am at a loss about what to do. I hate teaching but at least I have a steady paycheck, a job, and health insurance. If I choose to not sign my contract, I am choosing to give all of that up because I do not have another job lined up. I keep telling myself that if I cannot find a job, I will go work at Walmart.
I am at such a loss about what to do. My friends are no help either. They clearly want me to stay in teaching. But they do not understand the depression and anxiety that consume me each day because of teaching. It will be hard to leave them but I just don’t think I can do another year of teaching.
What should I do?