I turned in my letter of resignation today. I also told a few people that I was leaving so that they would be prepared when they saw it in the school board minutes tomorrow. To some degree, it has been difficult telling people. It is difficult telling people that I have no job lined up because it is very obvious then that I am leaving because I do not like my job.
It is the truth though. I have been unhappy for awhile. I was stunned last fall when my counselor asked me why I was still a teacher when I did not like it but she asked a very good question. It has not been an easy question to answer though. I am giving up a stable job and everything that is familiar. That has been terrifying. It has also made my mind wrestle back and forth about whether to give up teaching or not.
Finally, I just called my mom and talked to her. The second I told her that I was considering leaving teaching, she told me that she knew I was unhappy. She doesn’t know the half of it since she doesn’t know that I suffer from depression. But, I thought I hid it well. We talked a little and in the end, I knew that I needed to leave. And ever since then, my mind has settled down and there has been no more wrestling about what to do.
I still have five more weeks of school left. And in some ways, it feels like an eternity. But maybe I can go forth a little differently since I know that I am leaving a job that has made me so unhappy.