I Don’t Want a Boyfriend

I am back at the amusement park working in rides. I am no longer a manager but just a ride operator and so far, my anxiety has been much less than it was last year. I also have my OCD mostly under control which is a good thing. I have even decided what I am going to do after the summer is over. But I will write about that in another post.

Today, I am writing about the tortures of having a guy like me and not feeling the same way in return. It all started when I went to the amusement park’s church service one week. There, a guy that is a few years older than me asked me to sit with him. I figured it was no big deal. I knew him and thought him to be a little strange but still a Christian. After the service, he asked for my number. And that was a mistake.

I got a call for the next several days. I only answered it one time because he sure talks a lot. And I had nothing to say. After a few days, we switched to texting which is better for me since I don’t really like talking over the phone.

After that, he has been on me to hang out all the time. We hung out all day at the water park. We went and saw a movie. We also went out to eat a couple of times. Then, he asked if I wanted to date. The answer was obviously no but that it not what I told him. So we went on a ‘date’ (ew) where we went out to eat, went to the mall, and then looked at animals in a pet store. Now, he just assumes that we are going on another ‘date’ in two days and I am trying to think of everything I can to get out of it without hurting him.

I just wanted to be friends. I am not the most social person and thought maybe we would go to the amusement park a few times.

Like I said, he is a Christian but I think of him as a little strange. And I am being realistic when I say that it is not going to work out. He lives over an hour away from the amusement park and he drives a motorcycle to work most days. (I refuse to ride it). I live nearly three hours in the opposite direction. And I am not traveling that far to go see him and I do not want him driving that far to see me since I don’t feel the same way. We have nothing in common other than we both work at the amusement park (in different departments, thank goodness). We both have different dreams for the future that are not really compatible at the time.

I don’t want to hurt him but I also am tired of answering his continuous texts (I never ask anything back and am getting to the point when sometimes I don’t even respond). I don’t want to go on ‘dates’ or friendship outings anymore. I don’t want to lead him on. I really like being single and really don’t want to get married. I am just at a loss about what to do. The end of the summer can’t come fast enough.


Representing Your Country

Yesterday at work, one of the employees called me over and said that there was an upset woman that wanted to talk to a manager. I went over to the woman and immediately she began by telling me that she was from Denmark. I honestly could not see how that related to a complaint and really did not care. But then she told me that her daughter was too short to ride a particular ride but that there was a boy that was the same height as her daughter currently on the ride. She said that would never happen in Denmark. That is not the first time that a parent has complained about another child. It is really stupid because usually the other child is slightly taller and that makes them eligible to ride. I told the woman I would talk to the ride operator even though it was too late to measure the child. Plus, I knew that this operator knew what he was doing. He would not have let the child on if he was too short. I pretended to discipline the operator while he proceeded to measure every kid that got on the ride.

That was not my last encounter with the woman though. Later, I was helping people get off the ride and she decided that her way was better than mine and was very rude when I asked her to follow my directions.

After that incident, I could not help but think how this woman was doing a poor job of representing her country. Obviously, she is going to go back and talk about how bad the United States is because she came to the amusement park determined to have a bad time. But when coming to a foreign country, I feel that you need to be open to new ideas and be willing to follow them. I know that not all people from Denmark are rude because I have family from Denmark but to some people, they will get a bad impression based on the behavior of this rude/know it all woman.

A Horrible Mistake

I just did something really horrible. I belong to an OCD and anxiety group on Facebook. I got on the page and wrote about how much I love my amusement park job but how it causes me great anxiety. I wrote how I have requested mostly 9-5 shifts instead of 12-close shifts because of my anxiety. I also mentioned that this job has kept me going. Really, I was referring to not committing suicide. And it is a good thing that I did not mention suicide specifically because I accidentally posted this on my own personal Facebook page. I did not realize what I had done until somebody messaged me and said that they would be praying for me. I guess I appreciate the prayers but I am so embarrassed. The person that saw it is a teacher and I won’t have to see her until August. She is very nosy and will tell everybody. But at least I did not mention my OCD, depression, or trichotillomania. If she asks questions, I can just say that there were times when work at the amusement park was stressful. There are days when all the employees are very stressed because of something going on at the park. I just cannot believe I did it though.

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority?

Romans 13:1-3

There is an amusement park employee that none of the managers or assistant managers want to deal with. He was assigned a new ride in 2014 and it has been the only ride he has operated since then. A lot of people wonder how a person could only want to work the same ride everyday. Normally, after one week, employees are assigned a new ride. Everyday though, going on with his third summer, he operates the same ride. It would not be so bad if he did not feel like he owned it. Only managers and assistant managers are supposed to train but he is constantly getting after the people we train as assistants and most of the time, we argue about going to the ride because we know that the guy is going to speak over us. However, he is not much of a trainer as he is a talker. As a teacher, I know that you cannot just talk; you also have to demonstrate.

For some reason, someone that is higher up than the managers is letting this kind of behavior continue so it does no good for us to complain. But something he did the other day really annoyed me.

A manager asked me to go to that particular ride so that he could call me on the phone instead of over my radio. Once I got the information from the manager, I relayed it to the employees at that particular ride. And the operator decided to argue with me about the information even though he knows that that information did not come from me since it is something that only managers handle. He may ‘own’ the ride, but I am higher up than him.

I usually look at the other employees as my equals. But when it comes to certain decisions, they know that they need to ask me and trust my judgement. But when it comes to this guy, I have lost my patience. It is not like I am asking for major things. I just want him to recognize that there are times when he needs to respect me because I am one in authority.

My First Kiss?

Today, I went and got something for another employee. After I gave it to him, he held out his hand. I thought maybe he wanted to shake my hand or give a high five. Sometimes the people that work at the amusement park are very interesting. However, he took my hand and gently kissed it.

I walked away stunned. I am still not sure how I feel. I know that I never want to get married. My parents never made it look that appealing. And, I am a loner (sometimes by choice, sometimes not) and do not think I would be able to handle being married. I also know that I do not want kids. I like kids but once they start crying or get sick I no longer want to deal with them. However, it did make me feel kind of good despite me having problems with germs.

Yesterday, the guy was wearing a straw hat and he took it off and bowed to me. I thought it was rather unusual but I thought he was playing. After all, most of the time when he sees me he will sneak up behind me or do other jokes.

I know that I am at least seven years older than him though so hopefully he is just having some fun acting like a perfect gentleman. Most girls would kill for someone like that. And he does make me feel a little special.

Anxiety at the Amusement Park

I absolutely love my job at the amusement park. However, it also causes me great anxiety. It does not help that last year, I had several encounters with unpleasant guests that were very upset that the park was closing and then they could not ride rides anymore.

This year, I decided to ask my boss if I could mostly work the 9-5 shift instead of the 12-closing shift. I still have to have at least one night shift because we all take turns closing down a particular ride. I also have one other night shift. Even though I still find it difficult to handle the night shifts, I will take two of them over anymore. Plus, to make it even easier on me, I was not given the night shift on weekends.

I feel really horrible about asking for the 9-5 shifts though. I feel like instead of dealing with what makes me anxious, I took the easy way out and decided to avoid the problem all together. My friend agrees. I am an assistant manager and my friend says that it will hold me back from getting promoted. I do like being an assistant manager even though it does have stressful moments, but I know that I would not be able to handle being a manager. I know that the stress would get to me.

I really do not know how to feel in this situation: Disappointed in myself, anxious, or happy that I do not have many closing shifts.

Rewarded at the Expense of Others

Yesterday at the amusement park, we had an adult guy that was shorter than the average male. Though he was short, he still looked like he was able to ride most if not all of the thrill rides in the park. However, there was some incident and he ended up complaining about it. It does not sound like he was that innocent either. From what I heard, he flipped somebody off. The guy wanted his money back and the person that talked to him said no. After all, if he was flipping somebody off, he probably was not making the incident any better. However, a person higher up gave him his money back and his family all left the park sometime in the afternoon.

I could not help but be reminded of the time last year when I told a family with a kid in a wheelchair that they could not ride because it was the end of the night and the dad went ballistic. At that time, I immediately thought that the guy felt he was entitled to everything in the world because of his son’s condition. I kind of got that impression yesterday as well.

I am not trying to offend or put down people with disabilities or characteristics that are considered unusual. There are several laws to give these people advantages such as certain parking spaces and wheelchair ramps. We also offer several accommodations in the park. But I believe that there is a time when everybody is equal and must follow the same rules as everyone else.

After all, a person in a wheelchair is not going to get a promotion at work because of the chair. They have to work for it just like everyone else. A person that is blind is not going to graduate college unless they are willing to work for it just like every other student.

I actually feel bad for this family that had to leave yesterday afternoon. I do not know the situation in which the guy was involved but he obviously felt that the best way to resolve it was to ruin his family’s special day. The guy may have been standing up for his rights but it was at his family’s expense. The family was probably having a good time before they left and I am sure they will talk about their favorite rides. Eventually though, the one memory they will have of this trip will be the time their dad threw a temper tantrum and they had to leave early. They will also never be able to return to the park ever again because we will remember them.

Everyone in life has problems. Some are more obvious than others. But we cannot keep making excuses and let our problems define us so that we get special advantages. Because at the end of life, you will h ave to reflect on your decisions and ask yourself whether you made a true impact on the world and accomplished all your dreams. And I hope that a person will not be proud of getting their money back at an amusement park where they will never be able to return to again.

My Life at the Amusement Park

I am loving being back in the city and working at the amusement park. There is just so much that I want to do this summer. I have been going to the library a lot and checking out books and movies. I am not sure if I will be able to finish my wish list before the end of the summer. There are also several nights that I want to go swimming in the campground pool or visit the park on my days off. I also have to squeeze chores into all that too.

I asked my boss to schedule me for mostly day shifts this year. I get extremely anxious if I have to work nights. I am proud of myself for being bold enough to admit that I have a problem as well as to ask for accommodations. However, I also feel a little bad. I feel like maybe I should just have dealt with my anxiety and hope that by working at night will eventually end my anxiety. I already have problems though. I managed to pull out my entire left eyebrow and have to go to work half bald. I sometimes think of myself as a pirate even though I am only missing an eyebrow, not an eye. But on the plus side, I am getting control of my OCD!

I actually found another blog about a worker here. They even work in the same department. I really would like to subscribe to their blog but I am afraid that they might try to subscribe to my account. It would be very obvious if they read my past blogs that I work at the same park. And since I am in management, it would be pretty easy to figure out who I am. I have to remain anonymous so that I can raise awareness for mental illness while giving glory to God. Plus, I really do not want the whole world to know about my problems. So I will just continue reading the blog without commenting.

I did have to laugh at a comment that I saw posted about some people though that visited the park and complained that they were three very intelligent people that were very disappointed that the park closed at a particular time and they did not realize it. If they were extremely intelligent and willing to brag about it in this situation, they would have realized that the closing time was posted on the entrance sign as well as signs all over the entrance gate.

Obesity Epidemic

Overweight people have always been an issue at the amusement park because they do not fit in the seats or we cannot get the safety restraints to lock. There was a time when I got very nervous when a large person got in line. I knew right away that they weren’t going to fit but we had to attempt it. Then, once it was obvious that they couldn’t go, we had to apologize to that person, unlock all the safety restraints, relock, and then recheck them. It is a pain. After awhile though, I got used to turning people away.

This year, obesity is standing out even more to me. I think it began after I saw several members of a family that were all extremely large. I think I also began to notice several older people that could not get around without the use of an electric wheelchair. It really saddened me because these people could not join their family on the rest of the rides. They couldn’t even walk around the park.

The other day, I saw the saddest sight of all. A little girl that was probably three or four came up to a kiddie ride with her extremely large mom and dad. The little girl was about as big around as she was tall. Several other employees saw her and talked about how sad it was and how difficult they had getting her on the rides. I blame the parents because a child that age would not be that heavy if it weren’t for the parents. The same thing is happening to a couple of students of mine. Their mom buys them lots of pop and candy. Not only are they gaining a lot of weight, they are also getting tons of cavities.

Someone in my community decided to lose weight by taking Xyngular. The product did not seem safe to me because anyone that was using the product lost a lot of weight very quickly. I was even more disturbed by a Facebook picture that said that a man lost weight by sitting behind the wheel of a tractor and not dieting. Obviously, once he stops using the product, the weight is going to come back. The only way to lose weight the right way is through diet and exercise. However, this woman that is behind it all is now promoting it like any other party product (jewelry parties, etc…) She is constantly posting challenges on Facebook about losing ten pounds in ten days. The other day she was complaining that she was not going to lose her eight pounds in eight days.

It all seemed too good to be true and very dangerous so I decided to ask the company a few questions. I have included my questions as well as the answers I was given.

My questions:

I have seen many of my Facebook friends using Xyngular and having fantastic results. However, the other day, I saw a post that really disturbed me. A person lost a lot of weight by just sitting behind the wheel of his tractor and doing nothing else. If the guy stops Xyngular, won’t he gain all that weight back because he hasn’t changed his lifestyle? To me, the product doesn’t seem very healthy.

 Also, I have seen reviews of people losing 8-10 pounds a week. I thought it was not healthy to lose more than a pound or two a week. I know that on the Biggest Loser, most contestants lose a ton of weight on the show and then they gain all of it back plus more. Will that happen to a person who takes Xyngular and then stops?
Somewhere I read that the product helps with mental health? Is that true? And how is it different from the antidepressants that I take every day? And what would happen if I stopped taking Xyngular? Would I have to go back to taking medication?
What kind of studies have been done on Xyngular? Have their been any long term studies on the effects of the product?
My last question is that will the product eventually stop helping you lose weight when you reach a healthy body weight? I am the right weight for my height so would there be any  benefits to me using the product?
Their Reply
The product can be so effective that some people can only take the product and not change anything else about their life style and still get great results. This is very rare though. Most people need to change at least a few things about their lifestyle to get results and keep the results. Eating healthy and exercising are the main factors or having a healthy lifestyle.

Some people are able to lose 8-10lbs while on the 8 day Ignite Plan and they just need to continue after that to eat healthy, exercise, drink lots of water, get at least 7-8 hours of sleep every night, etc. to keep those great results and continue to lose weight.

The only studies that have been done are weight loss results on the Weight Loss Plan and on our newest products, Shine and Prime.

the products can help jump start your metabolism and the meal plans provided can help jump start healthy habits. Once someone has reacted their weight loss goal, they still need to continue to life a healthy lifestyle to maintain their healthy weight.

Amusement Park Tickets

Several weeks ago, a friend from college sent me a Facebook message and asked me if I still worked at the amusement park. She wondered if I could get her discount tickets for a certain day for her family. I told her that I could get discount tickets but I figured that I would have to work the day that she was coming so I promised her I would look into getting her tickets despite me not being present at the ticket booth. I did not actually do any inquiring until today though because when she had messaged me, she still had several more weeks before she was coming.

 My friend messaged me again yesterday and I knew that I needed to get her the information. She had told me at the beginning that she would be coming this weekend. Today at work, I asked what I needed to do in order to get her tickets and then once I got off, I visited the ticket booth and arranged for the tickets. I gave my friend the information through Facebook and then got a message back saying that the date had been changed.

 I was a little upset because my friend had not told me about the date change. Thankfully, I had not paid for the tickets but I had stayed late at work today just to make the arrangements.

 I am not going to be working at the time that my friend wants to come. Unfortunately, I have to go back to school very soon. That means I will not be able to use my discount for my friend. From her Facebook messages after I gave her the news, I think she is disappointed. I don’t blame her. I can get very good discounts. She was trying to ask me if there was other ways to get discounted tickets. There probably are other ways but I do not want to go through all the effort of finding out about these methods.

 I know I should not be angry. Really, it does not matter that she is not coming. It was not like I had been planning to see her. What really annoys me though is that I went to the work to make arrangements and she could not bother to tell me about her changes in plans.