As I mentioned in my last post, I quit teaching in December and got a job at a cash advance place. I like my job as well as the other girl that I work with. I feel like I do a good job. I like helping the customers and I find the work satisfying.
However, the one thing I hate about my job is collection calls. I know that I am not very good at them because I am too nice. People can give me an excuse for not paying and then tell me they will be in on a later date and that is absolutely fine with me. That is not ok with my boss. He told my manager that if I don’t improve on my phone calls, then I will be fired.
I was stunned when I heard this and am not afraid to admit that I was in tears. I know that my calls are bad but I figured the rest of my work more than makes up for my calls.
Plus, I do not see why calls have to be such a big focus in my line of work. Sure, that is how we get customers to come in and pay off their loans but other than that, our work is primarily assisting customers with their loans. But the company insists that calls are extremely important and we have to listen to our calls and evaluate them every day. It is a major pain and not fun.
Phone calls make me nervous which results in me pulling my hair out. Right now, I have only one eyebrow and that one has a bald patch in it. The growth of my missing eyebrow was destroyed yesterday when they made me practice calls with other employees.
It has definitely been a while since I last posted. I quit teaching in December and I don’t think I have written since then. So here is a little update on what I am doing.
I work at a cash advance place. I like working there as well as the other girl I work with. But I am not proud of the work I do. Basically, I help people that are in need of money. Some people legitimately need the help but some people come in every time they pay their loan back to borrow more money. In other words, I am helping people that cannot manage their money.
As much as I like my job, I do not feel like I am making a difference in the world. Lately, I have had a longing to move back to the middle of no where and resume teaching. I had it all planned out. I would get the teaching job (at a different school than where I originally taught but still in the general area where I was living before). Then, I would quit my job and take a brief trip to Florida (I really want to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter). Then, I would return to the amusement park to work for the summer and then return to teaching.
However, I feel like my fantasies are not going to come true. I did apply to one school but I have not heard back from them. That means that my dreams are in vain. I cannot go to Florida because I don’t have any vacation time. I also cannot return to the amusement park unless I quit my current job.
When I applied to the school, I knew that I might not get the job and if I didn’t, then it would just be part of God’s plans. However, right now, I am frustrated with God’s plans for me. I feel like my way is better and I know that is wrong.
As a teacher, it can be difficult teaching a student that has ADHD that is not taking medication. When they are unfocused or getting in trouble constantly, you feel like no other child is getting attention because you are too busy dealing with the one kid. I know some people are very against medicating kids. You can easily tell the ones that need it though.
I am not out to talk about the kids though. I want to talk about adults with ADHD. To me, ADHD is similar to depression and similar disorders. Anyone with these disorders has to find a way to deal with the struggles while trying to function in society. It is not easy. When my depression has me feeling down, it is hard to go about basic life and do simple things like brushing my teeth, washing dishes, or getting out of bed. Work is nearly impossible but I still somehow manage. (I know for some people though, it can be so severe that disability is needed; that is not everyone though).
I do not believe that ADHD should be an excuse for most adults either. Coping mechanisms need to be established so that they can contribute to society. I do not believe that it is an excuse to not take care of your children or to not pay bills or any of the other things that adults are expected to do.
If we all dig deep enough, we could all probably find excuses that could be used to stop us from participating in the real world. But then, there would be no society. As an adult, the excuses need to stop. It is time to grow up and be a responsible citizen. Sure, any disorder can slow a person temporarily or lead to mistakes. But it is only a small thing. In the end, we are expected to take care of ourselves.
It feels like forever ago when I was last able to write. My life has been so crazy lately that I do not even have a chance to sit down and relax. And maybe that is my fault. Maybe I am taking on too much.
On Tuesday, I had to go to some conference. i really did not want to go but my friend talked me into it. That was before I decided that I could tell her no. But that meant leaving Monday night and getting back Tuesday evening. The worst thing about being a teacher is that taking a day off is actually more work that actually being there. So I did something I rarely do and got up early Wednesday morning to go to work with the intention of getting something done. And then I went in early on Thursday and Friday because it seemed no matter how hard I worked, I always was behind. I have never been so disorganized or behind in all of the time I have been teaching.
To make my life a little more complicated, I took on a difficult freelance job. I have had to write numerous articles and every one of them has required research. Then, I have had to write anywhere between 1,500 words to 2,500 words. Those articles do not go very fast. The thing that keeps me going though is knowing that the money is going to God.
Because of my crazy life, I was unable to go to the volleyball game on Thursday. This game was the game before state or something like that. I actually did not want to go because I am not a sports person. However, my friend was going and that is why I wanted to go. We rarely spend any time together anymore and I figured it would be kind of nice. But I finally turned her down because I knew that I would feel better staying at home and catching up on work.
I am very good at managing my time. But maybe I just need to slow down and take a breath. I am sure God will understand.