Not in a Good Mood

I was so irritated with my mom last night. Despite me no longer living at home, she still feels the need to tell me what to do.

I had a trip planned for this past Saturday and Sunday. A week ago, there was snow in the forecast for that Friday. So during my weekly phone call to my mom, I did not bother to mention the trip because I knew I would have gotten the same lecture I always get when there is snow in the forecast and I have something planned.

On Friday, there was indeed snow. School actually got canceled because of the high winds. I was no leaving until Saturday though and the area where I was going had not gotten any snow. I knew it was perfectly safe on Saturday for me to leave. And sure enough, I had no problems.

So yesterday during my weekly phone call to my mom, I tried telling her about my trip. And she was too focused on her lecture that she hardly listened to anything I had to say. I almost never say anything when we are on the phone because I have no life. My life consists of mental illness. And yet, when I actually did want to speak, she felt the need to lecture about something that was never an issue. The snow had stopped long before that, there was hardly any snow accumulation, the roads had been cleared, and the storm had been over for at least twenty-four hours when I had left. However, she did not seem to get that.

Honestly, I am adult now and get to make my own decisions. I am not stupid though. I would not have left if it was dangerous.

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I am Not a Child

At the beginning of the week, I had not decided whether I would go home for Easter break Thursday after school or Friday morning. I was starting to lean towards Friday morning because I hate leaving at three thirty, running home to get my cat, and then driving for four hours, arriving home at nearly bedtime. Plus, snow was in the forecast for Wednesday and I decided that Friday would be better.

Last night, the call came that there would be no school because of the weather. Personally, I think that they made the decision too soon. It is after eight o’clock and I can hear them cleaning the roads. Anyway, with my excitement of having no school, I decided that maybe I would leave sometime on Thursday. My friend had thought I should do the same thing. I had no idea about what time because I would have to be watching the roads. I immediately called my parents. They did not respond with my excitement. Instead, I got the usual lecture I always get when I am planning on traveling when there is any amount of snow in the forecast.

I got caught in a bad snowstorm once in college. I learned a lot from that experience and do not plan to have it happen again. However, my parents will not let me forget it, despite making some pretty good decisions at that time.

It is extremely frustrating that my parents treat me like a child. I am 25 years old. I have been working full time for the last two years and was also nearly on my own when I was working at the amusement park. I graduated as the valedictorian of my high school class and graduated Summa cum Laude from college. I am definitely not stupid.

Sure, there are times when I still look at myself as a teenager. There are times when I definitely do not act like an adult. However, I have always been extremely responsible and in some ways, it is like I grew up when I was a kid. In the end though, I am 25 years old and old enough to make my own decisions. I personally would like my parents support on that.

I am Going Home

It took awhile to get the courage but I finally told my parents that I am going home tomorrow. My parents don’t understand why I am leaving so early. I told them I have work in my classroom. That is not a lie, I really do have work to do. Then, they tried to guilt me into staying by telling me my grandparents haven’t seen me at all this break. I do feel a little bad, but I have to do what is right for me. I cannot explain why I feel the need to leave but I just do.

Family Pictures

Yesterday, I traveled three hours from the amusement park to my parents’ house. My grandparents were celebrating their birthdays today.

I decided to leave the party about ten minutes early. I needed to get back so that I can go to work tomorrow. But I could not leave because my aunt wanted family pictures.

I was very irritated with the idea. First of all, because I had to wait at least ten minutes before the pictures had to start. Then, there was the idea that I had to do pictures at all.

I hate my picture being taken. I am not the most attractive person. I have frizzy brown hair that has a mind of its own. Plus, I have trichotillomania so I have bald spots in my eyebrows. Also, I have no fashion sense and my glasses always seem to glare.

The other reason I hate doing pictures is because when I was a kid, my mom used to insist on my brothers and I getting a group picture taken every year. We would always be there for over an hour and the photographer would only take about five pictures total during that time. My brothers were not always the best behaved but the photographer would wait too long to take the picture and then my brothers would move.

So I reluctantly stayed to do the family pictures. I guess the pictures mean a lot to my aunt and maybe a few others. I guess the idea irritates me because we just had a family get-together a year or two ago and we did pictures then. Nobody has really changed since then.

Family and the Holidays

I have always been a family person. I enjoy spending time with my family. I look forward to family events. But lately, I have had the feeling that my dad’s side of the family does not necessarily have the same opinions as me. I am going to use names in this blog but the names have been changed.

Aunt Janet called me this summer when I was still working at the amusement park. She wanted me to join the family for homemade ice cream before I moved to the middle of no where. She wanted to get together some weekend. The call came too late though. I had changed my work schedule the day before for the next week so I was going to be working the next weekend. I was moving the week after that so there were no more weekends for us to get together.

Aunt Janet has always been one to hold a grudge if things do not go her way but since I was about to move really far away, I did not care. Yeah, I was disappointed that I could not join the get-together but it was not my fault. If my aunt had called the day before, I could have done something about it.

The problem with Aunt Janet may be over, but now there is another incident with Aunt Lydia. Aunt Lydia thinks we need to have Christmas early because my grandpa is having his knee replaced a couple days before. The first date I heard was some weekend (I think it was the 14th). I was kind of upset about this date because I will be unable to attend. I am coming home the next weekend for Christmas and am not going to go home the week before. I live too far away to come home for just one weekend. What really bothers me is that nobody even asked if that weekend would work for me. No one seems to even care if I will be able to attend.

The next date for Christmas I heard was December 20th (a Saturday). I could make it home that day but I am actually planning on going home the next day so I can attend a church event. The thing is, I really do not care anymore. If I am not wanted, than should I even bother change my plans?

I know that it sounds like I am being self-centered and witchy, but I am having trouble understanding my feelings involving my family.